Gila Hormat

How would one translate this into English? I'm not sure either whether such term exist in English but anyhow yes I need to get this out. On the net, yes sure why not I bet some of you have had the same experience before, or to save you from experiencing one in the future.

Sometime 2.5 months ago, my aunt who lives in Sidoarjo said to me that a-relative-of-her-late-best-friend's-daughter whom live in Holland came home for holiday (you guys still with me up to this point). She asked whether I would want something back from Holland via that person, lets say her name was Mrs. B. At first I said, "no, I don't know Mrs. B and it would be a lot of trouble for her." My aunt said it's ok because she offered that and my aunt was close to that family. At that point I had my doubt already since some time ago I made a point not to bring stuff via someone else other than my best friends. It is unpractical and a lot of trouble for the "bringer" (is this even a proper English word)

Anyway Mrs. B brought 3 books for me and I was supposed to pick it up at her house, somewhere in North Holland. I was totally fine with it since I was the one who caused her trouble and I thought it would be nice to thank her in person. Before I got to call Mrs B, on Wednesday evening someone else called me, lets say her name was Mrs X. Over the phone she said that she has gotten all my books from Mrs. B at the airport since she has picked her stuff already there. So she thought since she lives nearer to me than Mrs. B, instead of me going to Mrs B, I could pick my stuff at her house. In the back of my mind I thought, "uh oh eh why did she have to take my stuff, I'm capable of picking it up myself."

Over the phone we made an appointment that I would pick my stuff on Friday evening. I thought, "huff not as bad as I thought it would be, everything is settled." Until on Thursday evening she called again and said she and her friends would go over to my town for a shopping trip on Friday afternoon. Over the phone she offered that they could pass by my house and give me my stuff. I hesitated by saying I don't mind going over to her house on Friday evening at all but she insisted that it's ok they're going to go to my town anyway. Without saying exactly what time they would be in my town I said fine, I just want this to be over with.

On Friday afternoon they didn't call until almost my time to cook dinner time. Mrs X and her friends were frantically calling on the phone saying they couldn't find my address. I explained elaborately over the phone how to get to my house from downtown, even offering that I could take my bike and meet them there, since from their explanation they were like only 1km away. But no they insisted still that they would try to find my place though up to now I smelled that its-your-fault-we-are-stuck-here tone in their call. They called some more after that, still couldn't find my house and they didn't have GPS. Until this point I said that I would meet them where they are now, and all this while I have burning stove for dinner. Still in their unfriendly its-your-fault-we-are stuck-here they sulked while asking how long would it take for me to get there which I replied that it would only take me less than 5 minutes. As I put my shoes on I saw Peter just went inside the house so I asked him to meet them at the place they told me. Peter went and I thought they have met and everything is allrite, NOT. They just left the aforementioned meeting place, despite it was exactly 5 minutes when I said to them I would meet them in 5 minutes. Left without explanation or any phone call, as it was my fault they had to drive here and meet me.

Ugh up until this point I was angry already but managed my temper. I thought I didn't ask you Mrs. X to bring my stuff, I didn't ask you to go all the way to my town to bring my stuff. I was like, darn this is just the way you some Indonesian treat other Indonesian, esp those who have been living here longer, let's say some sort of seniority attitude. It's like they feel they wanted to be needed but when you didn't kiss up their *ss as much as they would like it to be, they flipped, but sorry Mrs. X I'm not a small newbie Indonesian you think I was eh. I treat and respect people all the same no kissing *ss involved!

Since I thought that's the way she treated me her fellow Indonesian, fine I asked my husband to call and ask politely if she could send the stuff instead and we would reimburse whatever she would be spending on the post. Back and forth 2 months until now she still didn't send it until tonite Peter said he would be going to the area where Mrs. X live and thought he would give her a call and said he would pick it up this weekend. She picked up her phone allright but hung up immediately after Peter said that it was him indeed calling. He didn't even get the chance to explain himself. Uh oh so much for politeness....

No I usually don't diss on the net 'cos I thought what's the point, but somehow I feel this is a very common problem among us Indonesian living abroad, seniority in the form of how you treat fellow countrymen (in this case countrymowen) whom you feel your junior and bullying. I thought I'd share and maybe you can share your story. Yes I have heard other stories otherwise I wouldn't call this common problem.